The Feed

February 1, 2026 I love pizza. And why shouldn't I? I live in New Jersey. Other than the pies they're serving up on the other side of the Hudson river, we have some of the best pizza in the world. I do, though, have a problem that needs immediate attention, and I'm not sure who to write to on this matter. I can not stand when the slices aren't even. I mean, come on for crying out loud! How hard is it to make sure every delicious hot piece of melty cheese goodness is ev

January 23, 2026 In the anticipation of the blizzard coming Sunday, we here at the DeGraw household are well prepared. A dozen fresh baked New Jersey bagels have been procured. A tub of Philly Cream Cheese and butter are on the ready. A bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts for that little extra push has been added to the inventory. But most importantly, wine, beer, whiskey and vodka to warm our spirits! New shovels and new sleds eagerly await their Christening. Oh yes, we

January 22, 2026 I'll start off by saying I am not a huge fan of winter. I mean, who is? Sure, you get your occasional knucklehead who likes to break out his sweater collection and proclaim to the world just how much he prefers the icy cold tundra to a white sandy beach in the tropics...but putting that anomaly aside, most of us prefer warmer weather and greener pastures. If I could figure out how to hibernate like a bear, I would. As a matter of fact, I would rather move

January 5, 2026 I'm guessing on Saturday night, right after dinner. That's how you did! You know what I'm talking about, don't pretend that you don't. Yup, you sat on your couch, probably queued up Stranger Things and reached to your side table and realized something was missing. Oh, yes, that glistening glass with your Saturday night libation. Shit, that's right, you decided to jump on the bandwagon and try this thing we call "Dry January". "Okay, I can do this," you m

December 30, 2025 It's that time of year again and the resolution wheels are spinning. Damned the torpedoes! Full steam ahead. This is the year I lose 20 pounds. This is the year I give up drinking during the week. This is the year where no midnight snacks will be had. This is the year the screenplay will be written, another book published...yes, I will finally start making money. You better bet your bippy this is the year when success knocks on my door. This is the ye

December 27, 2025 Get the tinfoil out and ready, because old Uncle Ray has a crackpot theory to share. This time, it's concerning the lottery. Over the last couple of years, the jackpots have risen to absurd levels, as has the cost of the lottery tickets themselves. It's two bucks for the Powerball, or three if you want to play the powerplay (a separate drawing that multiplies your winnings). Which let's face it, you kind of have to. Can you imagine hitting four numbers

December 18, 2025 For the first time in my life, I have no urge whatsoever to watch any of the classic Christmas specials on television. Do you recall the utter excitement and exuberance that was brought to your school day when you knew Rudolph was going to be on that night? The Grinch? Frosty the Snowman? Or my Personal Favorite, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas? It was an all out event! It made your day! It made everybody's day! The anticipation was contagious. A cou

December 13, 2025 Bartesian Cocktail Maker, for those of you who have become so fucking useless you can't even pour your own drink any more. Well done society, well done indeed! Seriously, have you seen the commercial for this absolutely useless machine? Similar to the Keurig coffee maker, but instead of making a crappy cup of coffee, it makes your cocktails for you. Really? You can't put ice in a glass, add an ounce of liquor and pour fruit juice or soda on top? Is tha

December 12, 2025 It's good soup weather! For sure! My mother used to say that all the time. Of course back in those days we got our soup from a can. I can't even begin to tell you how much my mother took advantage of Shoprite's Can Can sale back in the day. I can bet you there are still some stocked away down in the basement. Reagan era chicken noodle soup. Vintage, I could probably sell them on eBay. Yes, I do enjoy a nice hearty bowl of soup after spending a day out

December 11, 2025 As I see my son in high school and my daughter in fifth grade, I find it surreal. Afterall it wasn't all that long ago that I sat in my mother's kitchen sipping on a cup of coffee and staring off into the backyard when I had a vision that would shape the rest of my life. There was a small red shed that used to house a pony when my parents bought the house. Buy a house, comes with free pony! Of course, with five children to feed my folks had no interest i

December 5, 2025 There are a lot of things that irritate me about this world. Mostly, technology. Yes, the same stupid thing I'm using here to get my point across. Hey, listen, I would gladly write a column every day for the local newspaper, but they don't exist any more! And those that have held on look more like a pamphlet written by a MAGA extremist who photocopied it at the local library and is handing it out at the mini-mall. So, alas, here I am. I miss the days whe

December 3, 2025 Tis the season of the Christmas light. As the weather gets colder, we see the bins get pulled out from our garages and attics. Children are forced to hold one end of the string as their parents try desperately to untangle last year's mess. The ladders are yanked out from underneath the leaves that fell late. I should probably clean those up. Ah, fuck it, I'm too busy. Save those for the spring. It's decorating time! Things have certainly changed since

November 23, 2025 As I stare at my yard, here in late November, I ask myself the same question every year at this time. Why do I own more than one rake? Maybe I'll ask the snow shovels, they're pretty cool, they might know what's up! But then again, there are some things in this world we're just never meant to know. Perhaps we'll just put this one down as yet another unsolvable mystery of life. Now I better stop procrastinating and pondering, and having delusions of gran

November 21, 2025 If you're from New Jersey, you have frequented diners. If you hail from the Garden State, you know what Taylor Ham is. And yes, it's called Taylor Ham, not pork roll you Southern Jersey rednecks. Go back to the pine Barrens and continue your search for the Jersey Devil! Yes, we argue about stupid shit. But it's all in good fun. Like, should we be able to pump our own gas like a bunch of peasants who just lost a war? Or should we sit in our comfy cars

November 20, 2025 One of the greatest tragedies in life is that a warm summer day with a gentle breeze isn't truly appreciated until the first frigid day of winter. Well ain't this a kick in the nickers!