The Feed

You've Got it Easy!

December 5, 2025 There are a lot of things that irritate me about this world. Mostly, technology. Yes, the same stupid thing I'm using here to get my point across. Hey, listen, I would gladly write a column every day for the local newspaper, but they don't exist any more! And those that have held on look more like a pamphlet written by a MAGA extremist who photocopied it at the local library and is handing it out at the mini-mall. So, alas, here I am. I miss the days whe

3 days ago3 min read

She's a Beaut Clark!

December 3, 2025 Tis the season of the Christmas light. As the weather gets colder, we see the bins get pulled out from our garages and attics. Children are forced to hold one end of the string as their parents try desperately to untangle last year's mess. The ladders are yanked out from underneath the leaves that fell late. I should probably clean those up. Ah, fuck it, I'm too busy. Save those for the spring. It's decorating time! Things have certainly changed since

5 days ago2 min read

The Mysteries of Life

November 23, 2025 As I stare at my yard, here in late November, I ask myself the same question every year at this time. Why do I own more than one rake? Maybe I'll ask the snow shovels, they're pretty cool, they might know what's up! But then again, there are some things in this world we're just never meant to know. Perhaps we'll just put this one down as yet another unsolvable mystery of life. Now I better stop procrastinating and pondering, and having delusions of gran

Nov 231 min read

Jersey Strong!

November 21, 2025 If you're from New Jersey, you have frequented diners. If you hail from the Garden State, you know what Taylor Ham is. And yes, it's called Taylor Ham, not pork roll you Southern Jersey rednecks. Go back to the pine Barrens and continue your search for the Jersey Devil! Yes, we argue about stupid shit. But it's all in good fun. Like, should we be able to pump our own gas like a bunch of peasants who just lost a war? Or should we sit in our comfy cars

Nov 212 min read

Ray's Reflections

November 20, 2025 One of the greatest tragedies in life is that a warm summer day with a gentle breeze isn't truly appreciated until the first frigid day of winter. Well ain't this a kick in the nickers!

Nov 201 min read

One Glorious Day

November 10, 2025 I don't know when that time will come. That day when I don't need to cash in my change jar. I mean, every time I do it, I tell myself, "Ray, this is it, you will never have to do this again." And then, as the whiskey tube that serves as my collection vessel begins to overflow, the shit hits the fan. Crazy, isn't it? I would love to take that jar to a Coin Star (if they still exist, do they?) and pour it in, see the grand total, and hit the donate button.

Nov 102 min read

I Want My Cake Now!!!!

November 7, 2025 They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Nothing could be more true from the scene we witnessed in the Oval Office just yesterday afternoon. A representative from the pharmaceutical industry abruptly fainted during a press conference, throwing the room into a frenzy. As most of the onlookers helped the man, President Trump simply looked over to see what was going on, then turned away and stood at his desk staring off into space. Presumably waiting fo

Nov 72 min read

Hope

November 5, 2025 Well, by garsh, it's been a while! To my devoted fans, all four of you, I missed ya guys! It's been hard to write the last three months, as my son William has been touring around the state of New Jersey as a proud member of the Roxbury High School Marching Band. Yes, the same band that just won the State Championship for Division Double-A down in Trenton last weekend! Oh yeah, that's right baby! State Fucking Champs! But my absence wasn't only due to my

Nov 53 min read

No Kings

October 20, 2025 So just what is Antifa? If you were to listen to the leaders in the current dictatorship, they would have you believe it is a terrorist organization. One that is rife with haters of America, outside agitators, murderers, rapists, Hamas thugs and more and more of those incredibly dangerous immigrants. But alas, once again, they are dread wrong. Gasp! That's right, I said it! Now, please take in the following lesson before they send the goon squad after m

Oct 203 min read

Lunatics Unite!

October 5, 2025 Well here we are. The battle lines have been drawn in the sand. The super grown up president and his minions have branded anybody who doesn't agree with them, or kiss their collective ring, as the Lunatic Left. The messaging on the right is tight and it is united. If you don't buy in, you are an enemy from within. I can't believe I am writing this. Too many times I have been caught in a conversation where the person on the other end just assumes I am of

Oct 53 min read