How Did You Do?

January 5, 2026

I'm guessing on Saturday night, right after dinner. That's how you did! You know what I'm talking about, don't pretend that you don't. Yup, you sat on your couch, probably queued up Stranger Things and reached to your side table and realized something was missing. Oh, yes, that glistening glass with your Saturday night libation. Shit, that's right, you decided to jump on the bandwagon and try this thing we call "Dry January".

"Okay, I can do this," you most likely said to yourself. You probably fidgeted around, tapped your fingers on the arm of your couch, reached over a couple of more times only to see the grim reminder that your cold delicious friend was missing. You've made it two days...but those were easy. With New Year's Eve being Wednesday night, you were a hungover mess of a human being on Thursday. On Friday, you felt like a new person, you were on top of your game, this Dry January thing was going to be a breeze! But now, now it's hammer time baby, and guess what? You kept eyeing those car keys hanging on the wall, didn't you?

The excuses started filling your head. Hey, those poor kids at the liquor store are probably sitting around twiddling their thumbs...bored to tears they are! And what of the poor bartenders? Sure, you gave them a nice Christmas tip after your third martini at the office Christmas party...but will that get them through January and February when the world is fighting hard to adhere to their resolutions and paying off those credit card bills? As a former bartender, I can give you that answer, NO, it won't.

But don't worry kiddos, you weren't alone in your failure Saturday night. Yes, I know you failed, and if you didn't, kudos to you! But don't fret, because I have come up with a new strategy for sticking to your resolution to cut back on old lady liquor. I call it, "Six Pack Saturdays". Yes, think about it, it's at least got a nice ring to it. And quite frankly it's more realistic. For the month of January, go the whole work week without drinking...but don't crack on Friday night, wait until Saturday. Then go pick out your favorite six pack, whether it be beers or seltzers, or whatever. Avoid the sauce if possible, but if you need that extra push, maybe just grab a couple of airplane bottles to finish the job. That way there is nothing left on Sunday to temp you.

Your tolerance will be down from being a good boy or girl during the week. Not to mention, you'll actually, most likely, will have a hangover to boot...which makes drinking on Sunday night a little less desirable. Then, after 30 some odd days, let the flood gates loose if you have to. But quite frankly, if you pull off "Six Pack Saturday" for the entire month of January, you might actually have reset your inner booze clock and continue it going forward. Or, maybe not, who the hell knows!? I say give it the old college try. At least then, the kids at the liquor store and your bartender won't have to worry if you're dead or not. And their Christmas tips won't have to get them through January and February because of your damned New Year's Resolutions!

Cheers!

Hold on tight Charlie! We got this!!