The Feed

December 30, 2025 By Ray DeGraw It's that time of year again and the resolution wheels are spinning. Damned the torpedoes! Full steam ahead. This is the year I lose 20 pounds. This is the year I give up drinking during the week. This is the year where no midnight snacks will be had. This is the year the screenplay will be written, another book published...yes, I will finally start making money. You better bet your bippy this is the year when success knocks on my door.

December 27, 2025 By Ray DeGraw Get the tinfoil out and ready, because old Uncle Ray has a crackpot theory to share. This time, it's concerning the lottery. Over the last couple of years, the jackpots have risen to absurd levels, as has the cost of the lottery tickets themselves. It's two bucks for the Powerball, or three if you want to play the powerplay (a separate drawing that multiplies your winnings). Which let's face it, you kind of have to. Can you imagine hitting

December 18, 2025 By Ray DeGraw For the first time in my life, I have no urge whatsoever to watch any of the classic Christmas specials on television. Do you recall the utter excitement and exuberance that was brought to your school day when you knew Rudolph was going to be on that night? The Grinch? Frosty the Snowman? Or my Personal Favorite, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas? It was an all out event! It made your day! It made everybody's day! The anticipation was con

December 13, 2025 By Ray DeGraw Bartesian Cocktail Maker, for those of you who have become so fucking useless you can't even pour your own drink any more. Well done society, well done indeed! Seriously, have you seen the commercial for this absolutely useless machine? Similar to the Keurig coffee maker, but instead of making a crappy cup of coffee, it makes your cocktails for you. Really? You can't put ice in a glass, add an ounce of liquor and pour fruit juice or soda o

December 12, 2025 By Ray DeGraw It's good soup weather! For sure! My mother used to say that all the time. Of course back in those days we got our soup from a can. I can't even begin to tell you how much my mother took advantage of Shoprite's Can Can sale back in the day. I can bet you there are still some stocked away down in the basement. Reagan era chicken noodle soup. Vintage, I could probably sell them on eBay. Yes, I do enjoy a nice hearty bowl of soup after spen

December 11, 2025 By Ray DeGraw As I see my son in high school and my daughter in fifth grade, I find it surreal. Afterall it wasn't all that long ago that I sat in my mother's kitchen sipping on a cup of coffee and staring off into the backyard when I had a vision that would shape the rest of my life. There was a small red shed that used to house a pony when my parents bought the house. Buy a house, comes with free pony! Of course, with five children to feed my folks had

December 5, 2025 By Ray DeGraw There are a lot of things that irritate me about this world. Mostly, technology. Yes, the same stupid thing I'm using here to get my point across. Hey, listen, I would gladly write a column every day for the local newspaper, but they don't exist any more! And those that have held on look more like a pamphlet written by a MAGA extremist who photocopied it at the local library and is handing it out at the mini-mall. So, alas, here I am. I mis

December 3, 2025 By Ray DeGraw Tis the season of the Christmas light. As the weather gets colder, we see the bins get pulled out from our garages and attics. Children are forced to hold one end of the string as their parents try desperately to untangle last year's mess. The ladders are yanked out from underneath the leaves that fell late. I should probably clean those up. Ah, fuck it, I'm too busy. Save those for the spring. It's decorating time! Things have certainly

November 23, 2025 By Ray DeGraw As I stare at my yard, here in late November, I ask myself the same question every year at this time. Why do I own more than one rake? Maybe I'll ask the snow shovels, they're pretty cool, they might know what's up! But then again, there are some things in this world we're just never meant to know. Perhaps we'll just put this one down as yet another unsolvable mystery of life. Now I better stop procrastinating and pondering, and having del

November 21, 2025 By Ray DeGraw If you're from New Jersey, you have frequented diners. If you hail from the Garden State, you know what Taylor Ham is. And yes, it's called Taylor Ham, not pork roll you Southern Jersey rednecks. Go back to the pine Barrens and continue your search for the Jersey Devil! Yes, we argue about stupid shit. But it's all in good fun. Like, should we be able to pump our own gas like a bunch of peasants who just lost a war? Or should we sit in o

November 20, 2025 By Ray DeGraw One of the greatest tragedies in life is that a warm summer day with a gentle breeze isn't truly appreciated until the first frigid day of winter. Well ain't this a kick in the nickers!

November 10, 2025 By Ray DeGraw I don't know when that time will come. That day when I don't need to cash in my change jar. I mean, every time I do it, I tell myself, "Ray, this is it, you will never have to do this again." And then, as the whiskey tube that serves as my collection vessel begins to overflow, the shit hits the fan. Crazy, isn't it? I would love to take that jar to a Coin Star (if they still exist, do they?) and pour it in, see the grand total, and hit the

November 7, 2025 By Ray DeGraw They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Nothing could be more true from the scene we witnessed in the Oval Office just yesterday afternoon. A representative from the pharmaceutical industry abruptly fainted during a press conference, throwing the room into a frenzy. As most of the onlookers helped the man, President Trump simply looked over to see what was going on, then turned away and stood at his desk staring off into space. Presuma

November 5, 2025 By Ray DeGraw Well, by garsh, it's been a while! To my devoted fans, all four of you, I missed ya guys! It's been hard to write the last three months, as my son William has been touring around the state of New Jersey as a proud member of the Roxbury High School Marching Band. Yes, the same band that just won the State Championship for Division Double-A down in Trenton last weekend! Oh yeah, that's right baby! State Fucking Champs! But my absence wasn't o

October 20, 2025 So just what is Antifa? If you were to listen to the leaders in the current dictatorship, they would have you believe it is a terrorist organization. One that is rife with haters of America, outside agitators, murderers, rapists, Hamas thugs and more and more of those incredibly dangerous immigrants. But alas, once again, they are dread wrong. Gasp! That's right, I said it! Now, please take in the following lesson before they send the goon squad after m

October 5, 2025 Well here we are. The battle lines have been drawn in the sand. The super grown up president and his minions have branded anybody who doesn't agree with them, or kiss their collective ring, as the Lunatic Left. The messaging on the right is tight and it is united. If you don't buy in, you are an enemy from within. I can't believe I am writing this. Too many times I have been caught in a conversation where the person on the other end just assumes I am of

September 25, 2025 The late great Yankee's public address announcer Bob Sheppard used say that a baseball that went into the stands was the greatest souvenir a fan could possibly receive. It was part of his daily public address to the crowd as he warned the spectators to be aware of balls being batted into the crowd and to not interfere with a ball that may still be in play. I was reminded of this the other day when a fan was lucky enough to catch Giancarlo Stanton's 450th

September 23, 2025 Day two of Autumn. It's getting colder, the AC units are coming out of the windows. The excitement of this year's tomato plants has faded as the survivors are praying to be harvested. As a landscaper, I am tired. The season is coming to an end, but fall cleanups are right around the corner. Quite frankly, my energy level isn't there. But the idea of sitting around for two months to recoup after the last leaf is picked up keeps me moving forward. Two

September 21, 2025 We are essentially living in a world where every single 80's villain/douchebag has won. Danielson has lost to Johnny and the Cobra Kai. Indiana Jones has been beaten by the Nazis and the Kali ma. Darth Vader has killed Luke Skywalker and the rebellion has been squashed. Biff has successfully hidden the sports almanac, killed Marty McFly and continues to rule the world. And the worst of it all, Troy and his dad have turned the Boondocks into yet another

September 19, 2025 It sure is touching to see all these candle lit vigils and prayer services for the departed Charlie Kirk. Thousands have crawled out of the woodwork to honor a man they probably didn't even know existed until somebody put a bullet through his neck and killed him a week or so ago. I must admit, I didn't know who the hell he was! A quick Google search solved that mystery. It's the same courageous folks who manage to leave their comfy living rooms on Christ