All is Lost

September 21, 2025

We are essentially living in a world where every single 80's villain/douchebag has won. Danielson has lost to Johnny and the Cobra Kai. Indiana Jones has been beaten by the Nazis and the Kali ma. Darth Vader has killed Luke Skywalker and the rebellion has been squashed. Biff has successfully hidden the sports almanac, killed Marty McFly and continues to rule the world. And the worst of it all, Troy and his dad have turned the Boondocks into yet another golf course.

No treasure, no 50 dollar bills, no Ewok uprisings, no fortune and glory...and get this, the Fratellis walked away with One Eyed Willy's fortune. It has certainly been a hell of a day at sea sir! Ugh. 1.21 gigawatts? What the hell were we thinking? It's a damned good thing we only gave pinball parts to the Libyans. At least we got that going for us.

Does anybody know where I can find a flux capacitor to fix the mess we're in?