The Feed

July 13, 2025 Please forgive the departure! I just realized I never posted anything yesterday. My sincerest apologies to my devoted six readers out there. My bad! And for those of you that thought I must be dead, no such luck. For you see, I was too busy working on a project at the money pit over here in the foothills of Succasunna. Back in March I purchased new railings for my wrap around porch to beat the tariffs, and the materials have been sitting collecting dust ever

July 11, 2025 For all my big talk, for all my bluster, for all my saber rattling, Bezos got me. Sure, it was after a few drinks last night, but I was weak. I folded like a cheap lawn chair tossed to the side of the road. What can I say? Liquors drunkened me and my inhibitions were thrown out the window. I mean, how could I pass up on a Lego Star Destroyer that was marked down $50 dollars? And you want to know what the worst part is? I didn't stop there! Because of my

July 10, 2025 As the United States begins its death spiral under the current gaggle of thugs, I had a thought. What will save us from this madness? Who can save us from this sinking ship? Superman? No, not even the man of steel can help us...besides, the tariff on metals is through the roof. Jeff Bezos? No, his seven million dollar an hour salary might suffer a bit from a lackluster Prime Week. He might only be making six million an hour come Monday. Poor bastard. I r

July 9, 2025 Geez, no taxes on tips ey? That's a campaign promise from the all mighty and benevolent ruler and king that has come to pass with the Big Beautiful Bill. Yes, he has come to rescue the working class yet again! Maybe I should just go back into tending bar now that my paycheck would be tax free! Thank the maker! But wait, there's a catch... So first off, your state taxes, local taxes (if you have them), state unemployment taxes, Social Security and Medicare al

July 8th, 2025 Sorry Mr. Epstein, but we can not publish your book. As you look up from the burning inferno that is your eternal damnation for a lifetime of raping underage girls and also providing them to your cohorts, we feel that publication of such material would not be good for business. Yes, yes, we realize that your old partner in crime made it a campaign promise to release your full client list from your little black book...but you see, he didn't realize he was in i

June 7, 2025 The waiting is over! Screw Christmas. Screw Easter. Screw Memorial Day and screw Independence Day. The real day all Americans have been waiting for arrives tomorrow. And just to sweeten the pot, it's no longer just one day. It's Prime Week baby! A time when we Americans hunker down on our computers and binge shop cheap shoddy merchandise, that nobody in this world needs, for rock bottom prices! Oh, the joy of it all. The memories so priceless (no pun inte

Chapter 16 You’re Welcome! I have been accused of many things in my life.  I have been told I am arrogant, brash, have a small shred of...

July 5, 2025 As a result of the moronically named "Big Beautiful Bill" signed into law yesterday, 17 million people will lose their healthcare coverage. Nicely done ass wipes, nicely done. There will be a special place in hell for all of you soon enough. As the BBB starts getting rolled out, there is a ton of delicious pork in it that boggles the mind. The highlight so far is $85 million dollars allocated to move the Space Shuttle Discovery from the National Air and Space

July 4, 2025 Happy birthday you old dog! You're currently being run by rich assholes, and nitwits of the highest order. Good luck with that! Now go get drunk, light off some explosives and eat some hotdogs. Because a year from now, you probably won't be able to afford such luxuries. Oh well, it was a good run while it lasted. It was great in the beginning, but all I'm left with is a molten pile of shit.

Chapter 15 $2.13 and the Art of the Tip In my 20 years of tending bar, it never ceased to amaze me how many people out there don’t know...

July 2, 2025 Well, it turns out that we really do need those damned immigrants. And get this, not all of them are murderers! Not only that, not every immigrant is a member of MS-13. Crazy right? Who knew? As the cowardly masked secret police round up hard working folks on a daily basis, our farms go dangerously understaffed as the summer growing season slowly leads us into harvest. I hate to tell you this, but Americans love to eat and by summer's end there may not be e

July 1, 2025 Dear 10pm snack, you have valiantly proven once again that I am no longer a young man. Long gone are the days of going to the diner for cheese fries and gravy after a long night of drinking. Or how about those glorious nights back in the 90's when McDonalds would have those Chicken Mcnugget deals for the 20-peice boxes? I can't remember the exact cost, but I know it was cheap enough to get a half a dozen of them between the gang and I and our minimum wage sala

June 30, 2025 After years of study, it turns out that fireworks may be dangerous? At least that's what the news keeps telling me. For instance, if you hold a lit firework in your hand, it may very well explode! But that's what makes it fun...seeing who holds on the longest! Poppycock I say! If you place a bottle rocket in you teeth and ignite it, there's a good chance it may burn your face! Well how the hell am I supposed to aim it at the kids next door? A bottle? What

June 29, 2025 For the longest time, June 29th marked the worst day ever for me and my family. My dad suddenly and without warning died on that day in 1989. Fast forward 22 years and my son William was born on the same day in the same hospital. It is now the year 2025 and he turned 14-years-old today. He will be in high school this fall. Crazy on how time flies and how dates take on different meanings. I can recall my Uncle Sonny, who has since passed, calling me and tha

Chapter 14 There Are Only Ten Drinks  (Time to get technical!) There were three questions that always seemed to pop up from customers on...