Help is on the Way!

July 10, 2025

As the United States begins its death spiral under the current gaggle of thugs, I had a thought. What will save us from this madness? Who can save us from this sinking ship? Superman? No, not even the man of steel can help us...besides, the tariff on metals is through the roof. Jeff Bezos? No, his seven million dollar an hour salary might suffer a bit from a lackluster Prime Week. He might only be making six million an hour come Monday. Poor bastard.

I ran some of the other contenders through my head...Musk, Zuckerberg, the Koch Brothers, the Walton Family, Ross Wilbur (the man who told us to sell some paintings and eat soup when times get tough)...but to no avail. I decided to take a slug off my bottle of rum and a drag from my cigar and it hit me. Jobu! How could this have escaped me? Don't worry America, I've got this. I have set up the alter and he is fully stocked with several different rums, a nice cigar and even a chicken for sacrificing. It's only a matter of time now until the monsters are gone. I guarantee it!

If that doesn't work, well I don't know what will.

It is very bad to steal Jobu's rum, very bad.