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The Feed


Cheeburgha, Cheeburgha!
September 14, 2025 I just want a normal cheeseburger, served on a kaiser roll with a heaping pile of steak fries on the side. Is that too much to ask? I want to be able to bite into it without cutting it into quarters and taking half the toppings off of it then eating it with a fork and knife. If I wanted a salad with a side of bread that's what I would have ordered. And when did it become acceptable, if not a standard practice, to charge over $20.00 for a deluxe burger p

Ray DeGraw
Sep 14, 20251 min read


Foxy Lady
September 13, 2025 Here I come baby! I'm coming to get ya! Prophetic lyrics from our dearly departed guitar sleuth, Mr. Jimmy Hendrix. But I'm not talking about a heartbreaker, a lovemaker or a foxy lady. I'm talking about none other than the Fox News Network. That's right, they are coming to get ya! Anybody who knows me well enough will be shocked to learn that I actually used to watch Fox News. Yes, crazy, I know. But let me explain myself. It was in the days and wee

Ray DeGraw
Sep 13, 20257 min read


Top Ten Tuesday!
September 9, 2025 I've got to say, I love MAGA hats! I also love Trump flags! I know what you're all saying...Ray, have you gone mad!? No, no silly gooses! I still hate the tyrant king and all his minions that have so rudely managed to infiltrate our government and turn this country into a Dictatorship. But you see, wearing the uniform or flying the flag of oppression makes you stand out! So here are the top ten reasons why I love these red badges of "courage" so very m

Ray DeGraw
Sep 9, 20251 min read


The Back Nine...
September 3, 2025 There's been a lot of chatter about the decline of President Trump's health lately. Some about the bruises on his hands, some about his swollen ankles, some about hidden catheters under his pants...then there is his wobbling and that nice pasty Republican skin of his. All signs of a man growing old and feeble...the kind of guy you see spending his final days getting in as much golf has he possibly can. Oh, wait... But then there is the mention of his cogn

Ray DeGraw
Sep 3, 20252 min read


Take the Day off!
September 1, 2025 I hope you're enjoying your day off you filthy plebs! Because it's back to the salt mines of Kessel tomorrow! Bunch of lazy, entitled halfwits! No, I kid! If anything, we Americans deserve a day to drink some beers, eat some hot dogs and if we're lucky have a slice of chocolate cake for dessert. You've earned it folks! After months of ruthless manhunts and deportations many of you have had to cut your own lawn! Clean your own pools and houses...even sh

Ray DeGraw
Sep 1, 20252 min read


Wishful Thinking
August 28, 2025 Well, the time for scraping knees and spelling bees has begun again. The kids are gone, the house is quiet, and now I can get back to business and resume my writing. Well, I'll do my best anyways; laziness and being old is proving to consistently get in the way. Maybe it's time to start calling it, "Uncle Ray's Thought of the Week". It would certainly be much easier! So, as the new school year begins unabated, here is my wish list for the next nine months

Ray DeGraw
Aug 28, 20252 min read


The Dog Days
August 23, 2025 Well, it's that time of year again. The lawns, burnt to a crisp from the dreadful summer heat, are showing signs of life. No longer will the landscapers have to draw lines in the brown fescue and lower their blades to make it look like they are actually cutting something. Yes, the cooler weather and a spritz of rain has revitalized the grass and welcomed us out of the air conditioning and reintroduced us into our backyard oasis! The pools, once vibrant and

Ray DeGraw
Aug 23, 20252 min read


Happy Birthday A-hole!
August 22, 2025 What's a birthday really? Just another lap around a yellow dwarf star. A medium sized, 4.6 billion-year-old ball of flaming gas. It's currently in its heyday, middle age before it becomes a red giant in another five billion years and swallows our planet whole. I wonder if it's having its midlife crisis yet? I guess if we see it buy a shiny new planet, and not that wannabe Pluto...I'm talking about another Neptune or Saturn...something with flash...well, t

Ray DeGraw
Aug 22, 20252 min read


Life Behind Bars (The Appetizers)
About the Author There simply is no easy way to explain author Ray DeGraw Jr. People have been trying to do it for years, few have...

Ray DeGraw
Aug 21, 20256 min read


Beach Rules
August 20, 2025 Dear New Yorkers, I realize in the big city, signs are merely suggestions. You move at your own pace and take direction as well as poorly trained dog, or an arrogant no-good cat. You walk around with little to no regard for anybody around you. Personal space? What in God's name is that?! Garbage can on every street corner...fuck that, I'm just throwing my trash right in the street! Somebody gets paid to clean it right? Walking and texting while crossing

Ray DeGraw
Aug 20, 20252 min read


Eureka!
August 19, 2025 It's very hard to get Americans to pay attention, let alone understand the logistics or magnitude of anything. Simple things like recycling, for example, can sometimes prove utterly impossible to implement for a variety of reasons. For Millennials and Gen Z, it can be as simple as being too fucking lazy to bother. For Baby Boomers it can be something silly like, "I never had to recycle when I was young, I'm not starting now!" Or for us knuckleheaded Genera

Ray DeGraw
Aug 19, 20252 min read


All Shall Kneel Before Zod!
August 18, 2025 British actor Terence Stamp, the man who played General Zod in the first two Superman movies died on Sunday at the ripe old age of 87. Rumor has it that his heart exploded during the final scene of the newest Superman film. "He just couldn't take it," an onlooker at the movie theater said. "I mean, I hardly made it through the first hour without feeling some palpitations. What an absolute piece of shit that movie was!" It was certainly a tough way to go for

Ray DeGraw
Aug 18, 20251 min read


Commander in Chief
August 13, 2025 For the second time since taking office in this second go-around, the combover king has deployed the National Guard on his own people. First in Los Angeles to thwart all those nasty Los Angelites from getting coffee at Starbucks and going to work...dangerous folks indeed. I'm not quite sure what that costed the taxpayers! But it sure did solve...well, nothing really. The Guardsmen sat around and did nothing for a couple of weeks to quell the Fox News creat

Ray DeGraw
Aug 13, 20252 min read


Transparency!
August 12, 2025 Well, last week the job report numbers were in. They weren't good. They were so bad, in fact, that the Tyrant King fired the bean counter who reported these heinous numbers. The absolute nerve of this person to count and report. Well he took care of her! Can you imagine? Fired for having the nerve to deliver bad news. The messenger, shot. Then she was accused to being a flat out liar. The next day, the troglodytes bought it, and the stock market soare

Ray DeGraw
Aug 12, 20251 min read


Well, Duh!
August 5, 2025 After several hours of poking and prodding, the skilled and undivided attention of numerous doctors, along with millions and millions of dollars, Ozzy Osbourne's cause of death has finally been determined. He was Ozzy Osbourne. Many Bothans died to bring us this information. How the hell was this guy alive?! Cocaine is a hell of a drug!

Ray DeGraw
Aug 5, 20251 min read
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