Happy Birthday A-hole!

August 22, 2025

What's a birthday really? Just another lap around a yellow dwarf star. A medium sized, 4.6 billion-year-old ball of flaming gas. It's currently in its heyday, middle age before it becomes a red giant in another five billion years and swallows our planet whole. I wonder if it's having its midlife crisis yet? I guess if we see it buy a shiny new planet, and not that wannabe Pluto...I'm talking about another Neptune or Saturn...something with flash...well, then we'll know!

I turned 48-years-old today (I think). It's crazy, because in my mind I'm 16, but my body is constantly telling me I am indeed almost half a century old. But if you put things into perspective, if you compare the 10 billion year expected lifespan of our little yellow sun to a human life, it would be equivalent to about four seconds. Or, since our sun is only just going through its midlife crisis, two seconds. Makes you feel a little small, doesn't it? But I suppose, if you make those two seconds count, well sir, then you've done alright!

And honestly, even if you don't make use of those two seconds the universe has gifted you, don't worry! Eventually, after our little dwarf sun turns into a red giant and swallows us whole, it will explode into a supernova, open up a black hole and obliterate whatever remains of our little solar system. Oh man, the universe can be such a bitch when she wants to be!

Well, I haven't had my midlife crisis yet...and I say yet! But I'm thinking a nice inground pool? Maybe a trip to Egypt to see the pyramids? Or an adventure to Turkey to get my hair transplant? Yes, those of you who are bald know what I'm talking about! Either way, this train ride is halfway over and I sure has hell better figure out what do for a living before I get to the final stop. According to the sun, I've got one more second to figure it out! Happy Birthday, A-Hole! Now get to work you damned hippie liberal pinko commie!

Sew very old one! Sew like the wind!