All Shall Kneel Before Zod!

August 18, 2025

British actor Terence Stamp, the man who played General Zod in the first two Superman movies died on Sunday at the ripe old age of 87. Rumor has it that his heart exploded during the final scene of the newest Superman film.

"He just couldn't take it," an onlooker at the movie theater said. "I mean, I hardly made it through the first hour without feeling some palpitations. What an absolute piece of shit that movie was!"

It was certainly a tough way to go for such a brilliant actor. Fellow supervillain and cohort Ursa was unavailable for comment. Strongman mute, Non, had this to say, "neeee, neeee, neeee." Rest in Peace, General Zod, I'm sorry about the new Superman film. We're all sorry.

Superman, where are you? We need you more than ever!