Where's Pedro?

July 2, 2025

Well, it turns out that we really do need those damned immigrants. And get this, not all of them are murderers! Not only that, not every immigrant is a member of MS-13. Crazy right? Who knew? As the cowardly masked secret police round up hard working folks on a daily basis, our farms go dangerously understaffed as the summer growing season slowly leads us into harvest. I hate to tell you this, but Americans love to eat and by summer's end there may not be enough fresh produce to feed our fat stupid mouths.

The tyrant king is starting to realize this as representatives in Congress and the Senate continue to warn him that the people they represent in the great bread basket are sending out warning signals that they won't be able to harvest this year if they keep deporting migrant workers, especially ones that are here legally!

Newsflash, migrant workers from South America are brought in every single year to plant and pick our crops. They return home at the end of the season after spending months working their balls off to an ungrateful populace. They have taxes taken out of their paychecks, including social security, that they will never be able to collect or reap the benefits of. These are things most people don't realize, including the clowns currently running the circus.

While Trump continues to waver back and forth on this issue with Nosferatu lookalike Stephen Miller, he has come up with a plan. One that already exists, and has for decades! The migrant worker program that keeps our dipshit mouths fed. Not only that, he has decided that the farmers can now police themselves with the workers they hire.

To paraphrase the Don, "the farmers know who the bad people are, we'll let them vet out the bad apples. Then it will just all work out"

Okay, good plan. Here is the questions for the interview process...

-Can you pick fruit? Si, senor.

-Can you work a 15 hour day? Si, senor.

-Have you ever plunged a 12 inch dagger into a person's skull? No senor!

-Can you drive a tractor? Si, senor.

-Have you ever burnt down a building? Umm, no, senor.

-Can you lift over 50 pounds? Si, senor

-Have you ever driven a WWII sub filled with cocaine into U.S. waters? Si...um, no senor.

Good enough, you're hired!

Fuck this shit, I'm quitting!