The Feed

April 1, 2025 If one more damned kid offers me a brownie and hands me a brown letter E made from construction paper I'm going to flip my lid! Besides, they taste awful! Nothing like a brownie at all. Now that's more like it!

March 31, 2025 If you were to hand a bottle of water to somebody standing in line to vote in Georgia, you would be arrested for vote tampering. In a state where the GOP continues to make voting nearly impossible for anybody who dares to live in a Democratic stronghold, this is actual law and they pat themselves on the back for it. I'd like to see how those same people feel about Elon Musk dumping 20 million dollars of his own money into a special election in Wisconsin to rep

Chapter Six If You Build It, They Will Come Let’s face it, the true ambition in life is to find your significant other.  To find your true love, get married, knock boots as often as you can, and eventually raise some kids of your own.  After all, nobody gets out alive so if you don’t pass along your genepool to the next generation, your time in this universe is up!  It always amazes me that when you look close enough at the things you’ve accomplished or want to accomplish in

March 29, 2025 So, it happened. Mississippi just eliminated state income taxes. This, from a state that receives over 12 billion dollars a year from the Federal government so it doesn't go bankrupt and so its people don't starve to death. This from a state that got caught red handed using welfare funds to build a state of the art volleyball stadium at the University of Southern Mississippi. Volleyball! My lord! Did the governor forget that President Musk and his lapdog

March 28, 2025 If anime is your thing, I can respect that. On another note, can I have the number of your drug dealer? Because the shit you are on must be mind blowing. And on another note, if you love modern country music, you're an idiot. There, I said it. Live with it. Also, can I have the number for your drug dealer? Because listening to tales about your pickup truck and shot gun and your girl stealing your dog all to the sweet sounds of steel guitar while an Ameri

March 27, 2025 Hey, we've all been there before Donny. That horrible moment when you hit reply-all and accidentally send a reporter highly classified information about a military operation that's about to take place. Who hasn't?! I know after a few cocktails on a Saturday night I may have carelessly blabbed about a few stealth bombers flying into enemy territory to launch a Tomahawk missile or two...I'm only human! Cut me some slack! So please, go easy on these fellas in

March 26, 2025 Nothing says "it's Spring!" like seeing piles of rotting leaves and woodchips being dumped on everybody's driveway. Sniff it in, that enticing stench of death and decay to usher in the exuberance of rebirth and life that the warm weather brings. It stings the nostrils! We hatch from our winter cocoons filled with cold gray days where we spent hours staring out the windows desperately praying for the winter to break. Then, like magic, the big red truck comes

March 25, 2025 If we made everything out of Legos, it would be a lot easier to renovate. That is, if you remembered to keep the instruction booklet. Now where the hell did I put that little curvy piece?

March 24, 2025 One of the greatest things about having children is that you get to play with toys again. What's even more fun is convincing your kids that if they don't put their toys away properly, they will wage a brutal and bloodthirsty war with each other. So all day, while they're at school, an unholy battle rages. Some make it, some don't. War is hell. The only bummer is when they eventually figure out it was you putting them in precarious positions all over the hou

Chapter Five Zanzibar! It seems silly to me now as I think back to it...you know, “throwing” away my "so-called" career and a college degree.  I can’t even imagine what friends and family thought, let alone my poor mother.  She was always there for me though, and let me just kind of figure things out on my own.  I was the fifth kid in the family and the only boy; all my other sisters had moved out of the house and become successful in one way or another with families of thei

March 22, 2025 There are two indicators that you are getting old. The first is seeing Drew Barrymore on the cover of AARP magazine. The second is when your spam filter is filled with advertisements for dating senior singles. Ugh, this train ride is more than halfway over! This getting old shit is for the birds. I'll know it's really over when I see Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone on the cover hawking a book about how to get rid of varicose veins and cook the world's be

March 21, 2025 Any documentary maker worth his salt can take a dumpster fire of a human being and make them look like the greatest thing since sliced bread. I wholeheartedly admire this profound talent. Incidentally, does anybody know a great documentary maker? I could use some image enhancement! Any takers to clean up this mess?

March 20, 2025 The ultra wealthy are taking the stock market slump just as hard as the rest of us poor schlubs. Having to settle for the Rolls Royce this year instead of the Bentley. Poor bastards! Chaos amongst the upper crust could soon ensue if things continue to get worse. BMW dealerships across the nation are staffing up to get ready for the new influx of poor that will be lining up at the door as these hard times persist for the 1%. "I might as well be driving a Vol

March 19, 2025 There are three things a man will step over his own mother to get his hands on...a woman, a foul ball at a baseball game, and the most glorious thing of all...a free t-shirt! I can have that for free?! Oh hell yeah!

March 18, 2025 When the weight of the world is hanging over your head, your best bet is to move out of the way. And if possible, push your enemies at just the right moment. Just don't fuck up the timing. In case you were wondering, it's 2 ounces.