The Feed

March 4, 2025 Today is the national day for shameless self promoting!  And I for one am certainly not above participating in this event.  Seriously, look it up, it’s real.   No, actually, don’t look it up, it’s not real.  I just made it up, but I will still shamelessly self promote the children’s book I wrote and published five years ago with my old school chum Scott Galan. The Adventures of Willy Boy  is still amazingly available on Amazon. No shit, it’s still there, I look

March 3, 2025 The greatest toy line of all time, hands down, was the 1980's reboot of G.I. Joe from Hasbro. Argue with me all you want, go ahead and try to prove me wrong! I double dog dare ya! What's my proof? Is it that they had to gumption to sell a six foot long aircraft carrier that nobody could ever find a place to display because of its ridiculous size? No, that's not it at all. Don't be silly. My proof, which will definitely hold up in a court of law, is none oth

Chapter Two Life of the Party I guess I always pictured tending bar as throwing a party every night and getting paid for it.  Quite...

March 1, 2025 I found my long lost pin-up girl from my high school days. I think she looks fantastic next to my hockey sticks...really brightens up the garage. It says, "Good morning Raymond, are you ready to get working today? Let's do this thing!" My wife Kathy doesn't quite agree. Man, I love eBay; the world's largest flea market. Just don't go there when you're drinking.

February 28, 2025 There is nothing more courageous than getting a cat...think about it. You're bringing in a creature that will piss and shit in the same corner of your house for the next 20 years. And let's not forget the half a dozen pieces of furniture that will be obliterated in their wake. The smart thing to do is get a dog. Then, at the very least, you won't have to clean the poop out of the litter box. Those of you who have both know what I'm talking about.

February 27, 2025 By Ray DeGraw Remember the phrase, "please allow five-to-six weeks for delivery? Remember coming home from school every day and asking your mother if your package had arrived yet? Your poor mom forced to break the bad news to you every afternoon that the mailman had failed once again. On the weekends you watched him slowly walking up the road; stopping at every damned house to talk to the homeowner...only to fill the box with endless parades of coupon boo

February 26, 2025 As a young child, I sold all my toys to buy video games. When I got a little bit older, I sold all my video games to buy baseball cards. As a middle aged adult I spent a crap load of money to buy back all my toys and video games...a vain attempt to recapture my lost youth and innocence. FYI, it didn't work. Now, if I could only figure out what the hell to do with all these frigging baseball cards! Seriously, you can't even give them away. Nobody wants

February 25, 2025 By Ray DeGraw After taking a break from looking at pie charts and advanced analytics (a practice that has won them a total of zero world series titles since 2009) the Yankee organization has decided to focus on the more pressing issues of the organization. I know what you're thinking; have we finally found somebody to play third base? Have we found a way to dump the salaries of Giancarlo Stanton, Marcus Stroman and D.J. LeMahieu who will make a combined sa

February 24, 2025 Is there a switch that goes off in the elderly where it's deemed okay in their minds to point out every flaw you have with zero regards to your feelings? Jesus Christ you got fat! My lord you look terrible, I didn't even recognize you! Have you thought about maybe getting one of those hair transplants? I hear they're doing wonders with that now. Man, are you brushing your teeth? They get more yellow every time I see you! Is there anything else you would

Life Behind Bars (Everything you did and didn't want to know about the restaurant industry) By Raymond DeGraw Jr. To my wife, Kathy, for always believing in me no matter how crazy or harebrained my schemes seemed to be.  For always encouraging my want and desire to be a bartender, and for knowing that happiness is not a big house, a flashy car or a week in the islands every year.  Oh, yes, and for letting me retire in my mid-30’s!  I’ll make it up to you sooner or later!  I p

February 22, 2025 Life after death finally proven as George M. Steinbrenner rises from the grave to scold young son Hal and replace him on the board of trustees. The spat and ultimate resurrection occurred when Hal reversed the long held Bronx tradition of no facial hair beyond the mustache. Irate at the notion of having a team of scruffy looking Nerf-herders wearing pinstripes, a much thinner and smellier Steinbrenner took further steps by also resurrecting Billy Martin to

February 21, 2025 7000 people who work for the IRS lost their jobs yesterday. 7000! During tax season no less. That's 7000 families who lost their livelihoods. 7000 people who probably won't be able to pay their rents or mortgages, feed their families, go out to restaurants, shop at their local stores...you know, feed money into the economy to keep the wheels of industry going! 7000 people who will now have to suckle at the government's teat until they can find another j

February 20, 2025 The world has become unglued. Where is the Elmer's when you need it? Well, it's become too damned expensive with inflation and tariffs and budget cuts and what not. Maybe a trip to the dollar store will save this sinking ship. The glue may be a weird color, have glitter in it, smell funny and possibly contain dangerous levels of lead...but anything will help at this point! Come on folks, we can do this thing! This is not the time to fall asleep at the

February 19, 2025 Please stop taking this medication if your arms fall off. Call a doctor immediately if your heart explodes. If immediate death occurs, please call the 800 number and plead your case with St. Peter. Should spontaneous human combustion occur, please take two squeezes of your fire extinguisher supplied by your pharmacist. If by chance you survive taking this medication please be sure to invest in gold bullion, pure silver and don't forget to apply for a rev

February 18, 2025 Did you ever think to yourself that at some point in mankind's history, somebody looked at a lobster and said, "You know what? Fuck it! I'm going to eat that thing!" We have been forever in your debt for your undaunted bravery...whomever you were.