The Feed

February 2, 2025 Planning out vacation and summer activities, as one does during the dregs of February, I quickly realized that bringing a family of four to see a Yankees game at Yankee Stadium is more expensive than driving to Cleveland, spending four days in a hotel, going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Cleveland Zoo, the Cleveland Aquarium and get this...see the Cleveland Guardians play the Yankees!  HELLO CLEVELAND! HERE WE COME!

February 1, 2025 It occurred to me while sitting on the throne for the second time this morning, that human life is just year after year of cleaning up poop.  Think about it for a moment…most people wipe their own asses on a daily basis, and in my case today, twice.  If you have kids, you clean up their poop for at least a few years until they can do it themselves; and even then you may have to begrudgingly lend a helping hand from time to time.  Of course you’ll have to get

January 31, 2025 The January cleanse is officially over!  How did I do, you ask?  Well, let’s just say the kids at the liquor store did not need to send a wellness check to make sure I wasn’t dead.  I’ll tell you more, but the martini in front of me is getting very impatient to say the least!  Off to February!!

January 30, 2025 If you have a career batting average over .300 in the MLB you will make millions of dollars and eventually make it to the Hall of Fame.  If you bat .200 you’ll make league minimum (get this, $750,000 a year plus a per diem equal to $35,000…because ya know, one can’t afford to eat on three quarters of a million per year…the audacity!!).  It’s more than most people make in a lifetime; you get to hang out with the rich and famous; and you get your pick of the gr

January 29, 2025 Ninety Nine out of a hundred men who get caught stealing a loaf of bread to feed his family will eventually face incarceration or deportation for their heinous crime.  One out of a hundred men of wealth and power who get caught for the simple and mundane crime of stealing millions of dollars from hard working class folk will face justice for their crimes…but then they’ll appeal the verdict, run out the statute of limitations and then blame the liberal media f

January 28th, 2025 For those of you who find turning on the oven so painfully difficult... One two pound roast, or a two pound London Broil, 1 can of beer and two cups of beef broth.  Throw it all into a crockpot with a chopped onion, carrot and two potatoes.  Press cook!  Done in 8 hours!  It’s not rocket science people, it’s pot roast!

January 27, 2025 In other news, intelligence reports indicate Sgt Pepper and his Lonely Hearts Club Band are advancing on the western front.  Additional troops have been deployed to slow down his progress.  Many Bandoliers died to get us this information.

January 26, 2025 In a joint statement by the NFL and the Trump administration, the mysterious drones seen flying over the state of New Jersey were actually commissioned in a joint effort from the NY Giants and NY Jets organizations.  Both teams have decided to comb the countryside in search of a new quarterback to finally steer their lifeless organizations back on the right track. On another note, the city of New York also deployed drones searching for their two former footba

January 25, 2025 I feel like I’m living in a movie right now where all of the world’s super villains have seized power and Superman is nowhere to be found because he just gave up all his powers so he could bang Lois Lane.  I’m at the point of the film where they’re grabbing a bite to eat at some roadside diner and he gets his ass kicked by a loudmouth malcontent Trump supporter…Oh lord, there is a lot of this movie left before he eventually returns to kick the guy’s ass.

January 24, 2025 The next time I hear some parent endlessly complain about how much travel and club sports cost and how they spent their weekend playing triple headers two states over, I’m going to take my old-school Easton metal bat from my recreation baseball days and end their misery.  I still have a couple of good whacks left in the old girl!

January 23, 2025 Send us your poor, your tired and your hungry yearning to breathe free so they can scrub out houses, cut our lawns, skim our pools, cook our food, pick our crops, can our meats and take away our trash.  The GOP and its loyal party of nitwits has become hell bent on purging our country of the folks doing the work nobody else is willing to do.  Good luck getting white people to do these jobs…especially for pennies on the dollar.  I can’t wait to see the privile

January 22, 2025 Brilliance and inspiration don’t come by too often.  And when they do, it’s quick and fleeting.  The greatest artists realize this and are smart enough to grab the reigns and ride it to the finish line.  The Beatles did just that.  The rest of us, not so much…but at least we get to enjoy their magic!

January 21, 2025 The worst thing about a polar vortex isn’t the frigid weather.  It’s certainly not frozen pipes or frostbite.  No, it’s listening to all the knuckle dragging, troglodyte fox watching conservatives saying, “So much for this global warming!”

January 20, 2025 After the endless parade of sugar, salt and fat that begins on Halloween and ends on New Year’s Day, we empty our cupboards and cookie jars and begin the long winter fast.  We cut back on the booze, we avoid the desserts and we remove the laundry that has piled up on the coveted Peletons and we start sweating out the holidays.  Then come the damned Girl Scouts and their irresistible cookies.  Damned sugar sirens coaxing us off our $3000 dollar coat racks…ah,

January 19, 2025 Even last place is still a place.  As a matter of fact, its first place of all the lazy asses that sat at home and did nothing all day.