The Feed

February 17, 2025 I don’t think Gronk, the Kelce brothers or the Manning family are in enough commercials.  Since the Legislative branch has become completely useless, perhaps they can make it up to us by passing a law requiring 100% saturation of the Gronk-Kelce-Manning triumvirate.  It’s not much to ask for in the grand scheme of things.

February 16, 2025 Keurig coffee makers…only in America can a company figure out how to charge $30 for a pound of coffee.  Bravo you magnificent bastards, bravo!  A crappy cup of joe from a bacteria infested coffee maker filled with week-old water.  Um, yummy!  And, lest we forget, more plastic to top off our dangerously underutilized landfills…because the daunting task of filling a regular coffee maker has become just too much for us to handle.  Coffee filters?  What, did we

February 15, 2025 This is a great song!  Who sings this?  The answer to this question is inevitably Donovan.  Go ahead, prove me wrong!

February 14, 2025 Valentine's Day…a chance to prove your love by spending as much money as humanly possible.  You say chocolate and candies are not quite enough?  How about a diamond to warm your honey’s heart?  One that was most likely dug up by a child laborer working in horrid and dangerous conditions.  Then stolen by a warlord who traded it for a kidnapped girl forced into the sex trade after her village was raided and looted by guerrilla fighters.  Oh, but the diamond’s

February 13, 2025 It’s easy to be a liberal when you are young, poor, idealistic and the rest of your friends are all on your side.  It takes courage to be a liberal when you’re old, have money and most of your friends have become Trump loving, conservative blowhards.  What will be easy though is smiling ear to ear and telling everybody, “I told you so” when Trump eventually runs the country and the economy completely into the ground.  Then it will be easy to be a liberal aga

February 12, 2025 The following is a public service announcement for all BMW, Mercedes and Land Rover drivers…We, the little people, certainly understand that there is a different set of rules for those of you who are among society’s elite.  Speed limits, stop signs, yielding for pedestrians…we realize these “so-called” guidelines are optional for you pillars of high society.  But please, for your safety, and more importantly for the safety and well being of your vehicle, rem

February 11, 2025 What’s with all these February naysayers?  Why so damned glum?  I find the month to be quite majestic.  Who doesn’t enjoy perpetually gray skies?  Jerks, that’s who!  Who doesn’t enjoy a frigid day with a gentle wintry mix that leaves an inch of ice on all your car windows?  Or how about that nice film of salt and grime that covers everything in a sinfully delightful white haze?!  Green leaves on trees and butterflies floating on a summer breeze…who the fuck

February 10, 2025 I guess the Department of Government Efficiency took off this weekend?  While millions around the globe now starve from budget cuts, Trump and his entourage spent millions of dollars in taxpayer money to watch the Superbowl from a luxury box in New Orleans.  I’m sure the fighter jets and various other military craft that did the flyover were paid for by Elon himself?  It probably came at a discount since the game was played in a fucking dome!   I’m sure the

February 9, 2025 Ah, the Superbowl…Last chance to fatten up without feeling guilty before bikini season.  Oh, wait, Valentine’s day…shit!  Okay, after next weekend the diet begins.  Wait, St. Patrick’s day with the soda bread and the corned beef and cabbage and the Irish beer…ugh, looks like I won’t be ready for the beaches yet again.

February 8, 2025 One’s collections are nothing more than a mirror of time…trophies to mark an epoch.  I collect bar room mirrors and lights.  They symbolize a time of my life when I found my direction and righted the ship of sorts.  I also collect toys, little symbols of youth and innocence before my father died and the weight of the world began to crush my spirit.  Baseball cards, video games, Legos, Gi Joes, Transformers, Gobots…and now antiques have entered the mix!  Oh, I

February 7, 2025 Behold! The McDonald’s Happy Meal.  Bringing smiles to children around the world, and filling our houses and landfills with crappy, poorly made toys for the last 46 years! Keep it coming, I need garage sale fodder for the spring.

February 6, 2025 It’s not just the one-armed Wompas that need your help.  After the routing of the rebel forces on Hoth by the evil Galactic Empire, Tonton meat has become scarce.  The Emperor has cut off all public assistance and humanitarian supplies to the wooly beasts.  In an interview with 60 Minutes he was quoted as saying, “If I keep giving these moochers free meals, they won’t learn to hunt for themselves.  Even the one armed disabled ones should be able to catch one

February 5, 2025 Hey listen, as a card carrying, pinko commie liberal, even I understand that a little fat has to be trimmed at the Federal level…but you can’t trim it all!  Otherwise you’ll be left with a dry flavorless piece of meat!  And I for one, will not stand for it.  I will not be eating a well done steak covered with ketchup like the orange comb-over nitwit that thinks he’s a king.  That, my friend, is not the America I grew up in!  Now give me a nice fatty ribeye, a

February 4, 2025 It seems that when each year passes, I get just a little bit larger…and my clothes get a little bit tighter.  Diet and exercise are a fruitless endeavor and yield little to no results.  But while doing the laundry the other day I made an important discovery.  I took notice of a jam packed lint basket after my load was complete.  Holy crap!  My clothes aren’t getting tighter, they’re shrinking! With each and every wash, more and more of my garments are smaller

February 3, 2025 Another boring day in February, another day to see what’s more affordable than bringing a family of four into the Bronx for a game.  So, let’s break this down.  If I choose to sit at field level so I can actually see the game (if I was lucky) the tickets would cost $1000.  At $20 for a can of beer or hard seltzer that’s at least $180 between the wife and I.  Add in four meals, sodas for the kids and treats for four people you’re looking at another $200; and I