The Feed

January 18, 2025 Don’t want offshore windfarms?  Aghast by the mere thought of renewable or clean energy?  All of a sudden you’re worried about the whales?  Okay, very well, you win!  The tyrant king Donald will put an end to it all.  Now we can enjoy oil derricks and offshore drilling platforms instead!  They can be quite elegant during the evening sunsets.  And from what I’m told, the whales just adore them!  Win-win!

January 17, 2025 I pulled a half dozen pens out of the jar on my desk before I found one that actually worked.  Then, for some odd reason, I put all of them back in the jar instead of throwing them out.  Why did I do this?  Why am I not alone in doing this?  I have seen other people do the same damned thing!  Is some magic pen fairy going to come when I’m not looking and miraculously make them work again?  The answer?  Yes, yes she will!

January 16, 2025 Not to beat a dead horse, but one more thing on the Tesla truck thing…I had an epiphany about the subject after a long discussion I had with a bottle of vodka.  I believe this “vehicle” has one key function…to identify soulless, callus, spineless yes men who will do as they are told. Elon  Musk probably told his engineers, “build the ugliest most useless vehicle you can imagine, throw an absurd price tag on it and see which morons actually buy it.  Make a lis

January 15, 2025 If a rocket scientist working for NASA was given two tasks…One was to design a rocket to bring a group of astronauts to Mars and back safely…the second was to decipher his healthcare plan in order to pay his doctor bill…the astronauts would live, the doctor would go hungry.

January 14, 2025 Speaking of Elon Musk, what exactly is a Tesla Truck?  Have you seen these awful looking things?  They are certainly not trucks…if you can’t get a sheet of plywood and some 2x4’s in the bed, it’s not a truck!  They look like some futuristic car from a low budget 80’s sci-fi pic.  Who are the jackasses driving these things?  We’ll never know as the engineers have tinted the windows black.  Good move!  I certainly wouldn’t want to be seen driving in one! Delive

January 13, 2025 Is it just me, or is Elon Musk officially the world’s first real super villain?  He has his own fleet of spaceships, has surrounded the planet with thousands of satellites doing God knows what, has almost a trillion dollars at his disposal and is the unofficial president of the United States of America.  Fucking terrifying!

January 12, 2025 Inspiration comes in dribs and drabs.  When it does, grab it by the balls and squeeze with all your might.  If you let it slip through your fingers you might as well pack it in and join the rest of the sheep.

January 11, 2025 I may be a nut, but if you try to bury me, I may just become a huge tree and tower over you!

January 10, 2025 In a stunning turn of events, a suburban wife has miraculously discovered the recycling bin.  Once considered a mythical and legendary receptacle, and even scoffed at by scholars alike when mentioned by the menfolk…it turns out this magical piece of state of the art kitchen equipment does indeed exist!  For years, cans and bottles (and even cardboard boxes from the blue beast known as prime) have been piled up on countertops or on the floor next to a doorway

January 9, 2025 Life is one crushing defeat after another.  The fact that we somehow find a way to prattle on is a testament to mankind.

January 8, 2025 Yearly physical today.  These get more fun the older you get.  The Doc wanted to give me a hernia and prostate exam.  I told him if he had long blonde hair and was wearing a miniskirt I may just let him hold my balls and stick his finger up my ass…but since he didn’t, that wasn’t happening! Not today Doc, not today!

January 7, 2025 The simple act of watching television, especially a sporting event has become a baffling ordeal.  How is it that when I wanted to watch something 30+ years ago, I turned on the tv, tuned to the channel and it was…get this…on!  What the fuck has happened?  Every Goddamned time I want to watch a game on a streaming service it costs extra money, takes 20 agonizing minutes to find and often glitches out or freezes at the worst possible moments.  This is progress? 

January 6, 2025 I think most of the world’s problems would be instantly solved if a private jet carrying the entire cast of the “Jersey Shore” slammed head first into a jet carrying Elon Musk and the entire Trump family.  Two birds with one stone they’ll say!

January 5, 2025 If somebody is walking and texting in a parking lot, it should be perfectly legal to run them down with your car.  Survival of the fittest according to Darwin.

January 4, 2025 If you think about it, you never really own anything, you just borrow it for a little while.  Take your car for instance…you keep it until it doesn’t run any more or you get sick of it and sell it off to some teenager to beat on for a while…or you just junk it in for scrap.  Your house you ask?  One day someone will buy it and change everything you’ve done.  All your blood sweat and tears undone with the swing of a hammer.  Your various collections?  Sold in a