Yankee Fur

February 22, 2025

Life after death finally proven as George M. Steinbrenner rises from the grave to scold young son Hal and replace him on the board of trustees. The spat and ultimate resurrection occurred when Hal reversed the long held Bronx tradition of no facial hair beyond the mustache.

Irate at the notion of having a team of scruffy looking Nerf-herders wearing pinstripes, a much thinner and smellier Steinbrenner took further steps by also resurrecting Billy Martin to replace Aaron Boone immediately as acting manager of the ballclub. Of course large pots of black coffee were immediately brewed by clubhouse staff as Martin's blood alcohol level was still well above legal limits.

A source that has asked to remain anonymous was quoted as saying, "He was already showing signs of anger from the afterlife with the Yanks winning zero world series titles after his death. Add in the fact that the ball club was only charging $20 for a can of beer when they could have been charging $40 and that there was no 250% upcharge to the Tampa Bay Rays to use the Yank's spring training complex for the 2025 season really blew the lid off the coffin."

We reached out to Sparky Lyle, famed handlebar mustache reliever, who grew his fabulous 'stache in protest to Steinbrenner's rule back in the late 70's...but are still waiting for his response.

Keep an eye on this story as it develops as there is certainly more to follow. There are reports coming in that Steinbrenner has apparently contacted long time friend and associate Donald Trump and newcomer Elon Musk to investigate a slew of DEI hiring that has taken place since his untimely death.

"I can't believe old Donny became president!," Steinbrenner opined. "He was such a lousy business man, who knew?! But I hear this Musk kid is a real go-getter...step over his own mother to get what he wants type of guy. If this whole D.O.G.E. thing doesn't work, I may just hire him to replace Cashman."