Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

February 19, 2025

Please stop taking this medication if your arms fall off. Call a doctor immediately if your heart explodes. If immediate death occurs, please call the 800 number and plead your case with St. Peter. Should spontaneous human combustion occur, please take two squeezes of your fire extinguisher supplied by your pharmacist. If by chance you survive taking this medication please be sure to invest in gold bullion, pure silver and don't forget to apply for a reverse mortgage.