The Feed

May 16, 2025 Do you remember the glorious feeling of euphoria when you were a child and your parents got lazy and decided they were getting McDonald's for lunch? You jumped for joy, your stomach growled, you prayed to the Gods above that they were still selling those Star Wars glasses so you could complete your collection. C3PO is all you need and you've got this thing baby! Are we getting takeout, or are we eating there? Eating there of course, Mom loves those fries hot a

May 15, 2025 I recall it feeling like being hit by a freight train. At first I thought it was a prank. Then maybe just a rogue DJ playing a silly joke. I sat in my driveway in disbelief, listening to song after song and it started to sink in. My beloved K-rock had switched its format. I went through the five stages of grief. First of course, denial. No way! This isn't happening. K-rock is the greatest rock and roll station of all time! Then it was anger. Those low

May 14, 2025 There is nothing more deafening than the sounds of a closed bar. Thinking back to all the years I was the last person standing every night, it boggles the mind I was often left all by myself to shutter the joint and prepare it for another day. All alone, thousands of dollars in hand in a little watering hole nestled between a neighborhood and a major highway. Back then, I didn't think too much of it, but I will admit, there were nights where it was certainly i

May 13, 2025 I'm not one for tooting my own horn...but my Pulse is still pulsing! How did I make this happen? I don't know...but words like dedication, stick-to-itiveness, gumption, moxie, persistence, tenacity, perseverance and determination come to mind! But more importantly, remembering to change the batteries before the acid leaks out and destroys the little blinking light forever. Yes, I purchased this album my senior year of high school (1995 for those of you wonderi

May 12, 2025 So it seems Donald Trump is going to accept a luxury Boeing 747 jumbo jet worth approximately 400 million dollars from the Royal family of Qatar. Apparently displeased at Boeing for taking too long to finish the new Airforce One, he feels it would be much safer if he got one from an Oil Rich nation in the Middle East. Nothing suspicious about that at all! As a matter of fact, when the Qatar Royal Family gave me my 747, I can assure you it was totally on the up

May 11, 2025 My father died when I was eleven. I was raised by my mother and my four sisters after that horrible, horrible day in June of 1989. As a result, I learned more about women than any man alive on this planet today. Maybe more than I ever wanted to know, or needed to know! Yes, they are a baffling mystery of all mysteries. An enigma wrapped in a question mark to a riddle nobody can answer. So yes, even I, the board certified expert on the fairer sex, am still l

May 10, 2025 We've all been there. That dreaded ding your phone makes when you get a text in the early morning hours. The sun isn't up yet, the birds haven't even started chirping. The phone dings, it's 5:55 am, either it's a snow day at school or somebody just kicked the bucket. Shit, it's the middle of May...and it's the weekend! Oh, crap, who just died? You roll over, you try to grab your glasses, you think to yourself that maybe you shouldn't have had that extra dri

May 9, 2025 Well, I had my first fall the other day. We all know what that means. Start the clock, my time is starting to wind down. With hands full, of live ladybugs for the garden mind you, I went to step over the retaining wall on the patio with my left leg and missed. My right leg went barreling into the stone wall leaving it bloodied, bruised and swollen. It's been a week, it still hurts, and now it's all purple, yellow and green as it slowly begins to heal. But thi

May 8, 2025 About a month ago, it started showing up in the mailbox. I didn't order it, neither did my wife. The kids certainly didn't, at least, I hope not! Every week, stuffed in with the flyers and the rest of the junk mail is the latest copy of People Magazine. So, I just throw it in the magazine rack on top of the shitter so it doesn't go directly into the recycling bin and an innocent tree didn't die for nothing. Besides, I'm a writer who writes for free, for inner

May 7, 2025 I think we should bring back the dirigible. Ones that don't spontaneously explode. That'll show those Germans! I mean seriously, how do you travel all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, take a spin around Manhattan, and then poof!? And over New Jersey of all places. Can you imagine? Making such a journey only to die in New Jersey? At least it was on the beach. If we only could figure out a way to get the cast of the Jersey shore to travel back in time and

March 6, 2025 A rainy spring and an unusual lack of landscapers has Gen Z and Millennials in a bind. An epidemic of shaggy lawns is spreading across suburbia like a disease. First time home buyers are dumbfounded as they begin to soak in the realization that lawns do not cut themselves, as previously assumed. "When I grew up, the lawn was always cut and maintained," a perplexed Millennial mused as he scratched his forehead. "I mean, does it really grow like this every week

May 5, 2025 Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody! If you said thank you, it's a trap! Ha, we got you! And you better not be drinking Dos Equis or Modelo...that's how Trump and his goons are going to sniff you out! In another moment of supreme cognitive thought, most likely after watching Escape from Alcatraz on Turner Movie Classics last night, Trump has decided to re-open Alcatraz prison...all in the hopes to fill it with the murderous and dangerous immigrants that go bump in t

Chapter 9 The Help I have, in this short life, done it all.  I have worked for a newspaper, I have worked in construction, I have worked in retail, and god help me, I have worked in an office.  Out of all the occupations I have had, nothing compares to the people I have met while working in the food industry.  Food service workers come from all different backgrounds, all different occupations and span all different types of skill sets. Those who have your typical nine-to-fi

May 3, 2025 Not that anybody is listening or cares, but I'm going to say it anyway. I will never step foot in a New Jersey diner ever again. It's bad enough that breakfast for four people with tip ends up being almost $100, but when when a crappy Big Breakfast at McDonalds is better, well that's when I say I've had enough. The diner was always a great go-to when you couldn't figure out where to eat. It was great when you had six beers in you and you needed something greasy

May 2, 2025 If if wasn't bad enough seeing the Maga hats laying in wait at each cabinet member's seat, or that the red hatted faithful is now allowed, if not encouraged, to wear their hats to work in Federal buildings, maybe it was what the tyrant king had to say at the meeting. When asked about the rising cost of toys, and being reminded that 90% of them are made in China, the benevolent and all mighty ruler had this to say... "You know, somebody said, 'Oh, the shelves are