Strike!

April 12, 2025

Well, it's official...spring has gone on strike. In a stunning 5-to-4 vote last night at the Local 501 teamster's hall, Spring gave a huge double fisted middle finger to all those at the negotiating table after a deal could not be reached. Winter was more than happy with the news, as it gladly crossed the picket line with its pool of nonunionized laborers.

Plans to erect giant inflated rats across the nation were quickly squashed when it was noted that union rule 758 clearly stipulates that spring workers can not be put to work when temperatures fall below 60 degrees. Mulch piles sitting in driveways for the last few weeks joined in a sympathy strike when they complained about being covered in snow in the middle of frigging April!

More news to follow, as Summer was waiting in the lobby watching the negotiations deteriorate. "I'm not quite sure what those idiots were fighting over...all I know is that I have a vacation planned next week and they better get their act together. I'll be damned if I'm going to sit in the stands at a baseball game with a winter coat on."

Oh hell no! I ain't working in this shit!