Smart Devices

March 15, 2025

My truck is an idiot. Every time I open the door it keeps telling me it's a jar. No, you moron it's a door! How many times do we have to go over this? The new fridge is also irritating me. Change the water filter it says, change the crisper filters it moans. Listen pal, I'm a busy man. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told the old fridge...Piss Off! You saw what happened to the last smart aleck appliance that wouldn't stop pestering me, so watch your step if you know what's good for ya.

Let's not forget about that state of the art coffee maker that won't shut up about being cleaned. Blink, blink, blink...that stupid clean me light haunts me in the night. You're right next to the sink, clean yourself you lazy ass! I'm telling you all, right now, to lay off. You better stop with your constant demands because you have no idea what I'm capable of. Let this be a warning to you "smart" devices. I've had just about enough of your shit! And don't even get me started about the echo dot...I'm still not over the argument we got into the other day.