Sidewalks to Nowhere

May 24, 2025

Life is a sidewalk to nowhere. We walk endlessly trying our damnedest to get to our destination, only to find our paths often come to an inglorious end. Imagine that...battling so hard to get home, to get to our loved ones, to struggle so mightily to finish our journey after a hard day's work only to find our road comes to a halt. What a pisser!

I tell you what, nothing says human incompetence more than a sidewalk to nowhere. Nothing says, welcome to our town like a path that ends with poison ivy and pachysandra holding hands. It's quite majestic really! Nothing says government incompetence like having your walk end into a fucking wall. Nothing says government boondoggle than your child having to take the bus when you live in the house right next door to the damned elementary school.

So, without further ado, welcome to our new weekly feature, 'Saturday's Sidewalks to Nowhere'. This particular one, featured in this article, is my all time favorite. Nestled atop a hill with a beautiful handmade stone wall...most likely from the turn of the century. Perhaps from the Hessian prisoners of war from the Revolution that constructed the wall on the other side of town that now stands derelict and infested with Kudzu vines and Virginia creeper. But not to worry, the Historical Society has been working feverishly for the last 50 years to obtain the permits to fix said wall. It'll happen one day, I promise!

I have walked now for too long, I have walked up a big hill, I have traveled far and wide and all I want to do is to get home. But here I am. Standing at the end of my path, with nowhere to go. But that's life isn't it? A sidewalk to nowhere. Get used to it, there is an endless supply of them and more being built by the day. Just take a hop, skip and a jump to get to the other side. Throw yourself briefly into oncoming traffic and hope for the best. It'll make you tough as nails in the end. Or a big red lump of mess smashed into the asphalt. But as long as the town's insurance covers it, it's all good.

Let's go for a walk!

Well, now what?