Employee of the Month

June 6, 2025

There are some that say that it was long overdue. I mean, how could this employee have gone so long without being recognized for his valiant efforts day in and day out? Quite frankly, it has been a travesty of union noncompliance that needed be be rectified posthaste! So last night, after going over the numbers for May, crossing T's and dotting I's, and wrapping up all the things that needed wrapping...a vote took place.

In a stunning 1-to-nothing victory, I am proud to announce that I, Ray DeGraw, have finally been awarded the honor of Employee of the Month! First and foremost, I awarded myself the prestigious honor of hardest worker at Roxbury Ray's Handyman and Landscape services! I then followed that up with the accolade of number one contributor to Uncle Ray's Thought of the Day. Yes, double honors for double duty! And may I say, with sincere admiration, that I wholeheartedly agree with the decision of management on this one.

"I was really getting peeved at ownership," I said to myself. "I mean, what is it going to take? Mowing ten lawns a day? Writing two articles that nobody will ever read per day? Well, check that, there are at least five of you out there who have bought into my dementia! And I am grateful to you, I really am! I don't think this employee of the month thing would have ever happened if it wasn't for you...the people!"

What's next for Mr. DeGraw in the future you ask? According to sources that asked to remain anonymous, business as usual. Lawns don't cut themselves (as Millennials and Gen Z are learning), nonsensical articles with poor grammar don't write themselves (no matter what artificial intelligence tells you), so we must keep fighting the good fight! Somebody has to do it! After all, what kind of day would it be if Mr. DeGraw did forget to post something to his blog, or cut his neighbors lawn?

"Probably the same," quipped the Employee of the month for May. "Probably the same."

It's good to be king, if just for a while...