Clone This!

April 9, 2025

Scientists have recently been able to clone a species of wolf that has been extinct for over 10,000 years. In order to not lose any of their federal funding for cloning activities, the scientists have agreed to hand over the wolves and all said research to the Trump administration. Department of Homeland Security stooge and reincarnation of Joseph Goebbels, Stephen Miller was ecstatic at the possibilities.

"We'll start by deploying the wolves to the streets of cities that have been dogged, no pun intended, with a homelessness problem," Miller laughed as he did his best Mr. Burn's impersonation. "It's really a win-win for everybody, the cities will rid themselves of these filthy beggars, and the wolves don't go hungry. That should keep those people at the Humane Society happy for once!"

After an intense Oval office meeting with cabinet members it was decided to pass the research baton to Elon Musk, who will get his scientists and engineers to further the cloning activities to include the ferocious saber tooth tiger.

"After the Wolves and Tigers are done eradicating our cities of street trash, we'll set them loose on the southern border. That'll keep those immigrants from trying to cross the border and steal all those jobs White Americans refuse to do!," Musk quipped. "And don't think we'll stop there, I heard there is an ancient Kodiak Bear twice the size of our current lackluster brown bears. If successful, which we will be, the giant Kodiak will be deployed on the northern border to deal with those pesky Canadians."

Hey, little guy...I might have a Milk Bone or something!