Breaking News...

April 8, 2025

It was announced earlier today that singer and songwriter Lenny Kravitz has decided he will no longer spend 23 hours a day primping and prepping for his 30 minute strolls down the beach. Apparently it occurred to the 60-year-old that he needed more time for himself and his family after a photoshoot in the Bahamas needed four years to film a 30 second spot.

"The travel agency that hired me to shoot this commercial were very pleased with the result, but were forced to spend millions on "de-aging" software, as it took almost half a decade to get suitable footage...and unfortunately, a small wrinkle had been spotted near my left eye during year three of the shoot," sighed Kravitz.

Despite cutting his prep time by at least 45 extra minutes, his team, led by a group of scientists, and supported by thousands, are still working night and day to keep the Adonis troubadour in tip top shape at all costs. Those washboard abs, perfect dreads and designer clothes don't just happen by magic! We have a team of almost 400 physical trainers alone that keep Lenny in tip top shape," said a Kravitz and Company employee that asked to remain anonymous.

And as for the threads? We strive diligently to always stay current on the latest fashions. As a matter of fact, we have 4,200 seamstresses working 20 hours a day to keep me up to date!," Kravitz mused.

"Sure, being Lenny Kravitz isn't easy. He'll be the first to tell you that, but man, that extra 45 minutes a day to spend with the family and to relax are going to go a long way to keeping those crow's feet at bay," One of his nighttime makeup artists said. "And perhaps the next commercial Kenny works on will only take three years this time. Here's to the future!"

Where the hell is Kravitz!?