Another Saturday, Another Sidewalk

June 14, 2025

We, the fine people of Roxbury, are a progressive bunch. We strive for the future, we plan for better days...and by golly, we will have a connecting network of sidewalks eventually! Now, this particular sidewalk was well under construction when I took this photo. And you know what? I was standing on the railroad tracks when I took it! The railroad tracks! This fancy sidewalk...which, by the way, still has that 'new sidewalk' smell is actually on the other side of the tracks!

Could this be a sign that the most dilapidated stretch of Route 46 in the entire state of New Jersey is about to go under a renovation? After the town council decided it would be a bummer of an idea to let Hartz Mountain move into the old Hercules gun powder plant and bring in 6 million dollars in tax revenue and a workforce of 1,500 people that would have revitalized the entire corridor...we all figured the 'Roxbury Red Light' district would just stand forever. Oh, how naive we all were!

Sure, it's flanked by two suspect motels in the Boundary and the old Circle Motel (still free HBO, according the sign!)...and let's not forget the Kenvil Motel in the middle that houses the burdens of the state sold to us by none other than America's Mayor, old Rudy all those moons ago. But, where there is a new sidewalk, there is progress! The famous Smiles II has been shuttered for years...on the other end Frankie's Rest-a-Bit (the place where go-go dancers were sent off to die) is being turned into an Irish Pub! Progress! Perhaps we'll whittle the totally up and up massage parlors down to six...again, progress!

I may be dreaming here, but maybe the Boundary gets turned into luxury apartments? The Kenvil Motel into a posh bed and breakfast? The old porno shop into a boutique that serves hot tea and finger sandwiches to little old ladies! The roller rink that's been empty for 45 years (the one that almost became a brewery before the town council mysteriously squashed that idea too) might reopen to thunderous applause! The Fran's Wicker Imports building will resume importing...even with a 25% tariff! The old Howard Cleaners will indeed clean again! Oh the prosperity awaits us! Truly the best of times!

This brandy new sidewalk to nowhere may be on the other side of the tracks, it may lead right into a giant bush...but perhaps, it leads us into the future. A hip, robust, swanky downtown Roxbury that will finally put us on the map! No longer will we be famous for gun powder plant explosions, shady deals that reopened an old landfill and made our town smell like rotting eggs for a few years, or idiots that disrupt every school board meeting with accusations that our librarians are turning our children into gays and lesbians with woke literature. No! No! No! We will be known for progress! And it starts right here, with this little sidewalk on the other side of the tracks.

And lest we forget, the mysterious tower with observation deck right behind the old porno shop...it could be tourist attraction...See the whole town from our observation deck...and don't forget to get a massage on your way out! Wink, wink!

Roxbury, on the rise!

Just think, one day we'll be able to walk to get our massages!