Another Bold Proclamation!

May 3, 2025

Not that anybody is listening or cares, but I'm going to say it anyway. I will never step foot in a New Jersey diner ever again. It's bad enough that breakfast for four people with tip ends up being almost $100, but when when a crappy Big Breakfast at McDonalds is better, well that's when I say I've had enough.

The diner was always a great go-to when you couldn't figure out where to eat. It was great when you had six beers in you and you needed something greasy and delicious to soak it all up. It was great when all you had left in your pocket was a few crumbled up dollar bills and a handful of change and you could get a warm meal. I mean, at the very least you could get some cheese fries and brown gravy...aka Disco Fries for those of you not from Jersey.

But, I've had enough. Listen, I don't mind getting a crappy meal when I'm on the road or in a rush or am on the verge of passing out if I don't get something in my belly. Any port in a storm as they say. But when a turkey club with a handful of crappy battered fries (why any restaurant serves this catastrophe of a potato is beyond me...put steak fries back on the menu you cheap mother fuckers!) and an iced tea costs upwards of $20 bucks...I say, good day to you sir.

There is no way on God's green earth that your operating costs are that high that you can demand that sort of price. And I get it, if the people keep coming in and shelling out ridiculous amounts of green for bacon that was cooked three days ago, so be it. I won't be one of them. I've had enough of the price gouging and it pleases me to see your parking lots get emptier by the day.

If you can give me a reasonable answer as to why I just wouldn't spend a few more dollars to eat in a real restaurant and not in the slop houses you run, well, I'm all ears. But from now on when I'm three sheets to the wind or hungover craving that Taylor Ham Egg and Cheese (and it better be real Taylor ham...not the knockoff shit you've been passing off as Taylor Ham...yeah, I can tell), I won't be coming to you. I will be cooking it myself. Because, quite frankly, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to be a short order cook.

Keep raising your prices and blaming everybody but yourself as you drive off in your Mercedes to the weekend house at the shore. You're not fooling anybody. That is all.

Holy Shit! We can't afford this! Let's make a run for it!