April 7, 2026 By Ray DeGraw Well, we've all been there. Don't deny it. You finished reading the morning headlines. You're three cups off coffee in, and you've just taught the toilet a lesson it won't soon forget! You're light as a feather now, you're on that caffein high and you're ready to take on your day. The world is your oyster! Then you look to your left and realize the bind you're in...there is no fucking toilet paper! Okay, don't panic, you say to yourself. The

March 19, 2026 By Ray DeGraw No, I'm not talking about the untimely demise of Mama Cass here. God bless her gigantic soul! I want to discuss how unsettling it is when I get fresh ham from the deli counter and it's rectangular in shape. I wonder what kind of farm this particular pig came from? Do they squish them into large rectangular metal boxes after they've been relieved of their "farming" duties? Or have these particular pigs been exported from a teenage Minecraft ma

March 17, 2026 By Ray DeGraw The year was 2005. My tail was between my legs as I was living back at Mom's house yet again. Although, this time, I was saving money to buy a house. I was living the dream, playing the part of Sam Malone, tending bar in a small Irish pub and loving every damned minute of it. My friends and I started a blog called the Liberal Phoenix, and other than this current moment of time in my life, was the most engaged I had ever been in my writings. We